Cold Storage

Cold Storage is a funny scary science fiction story about a man who is cryogenically frozen in the hopes that in the future he can be revived and cured.

Gerald Sidney was a very wealthy man, but all the money in the world couldn’t help him now. He was dying and there was nothing more the doctors could do for him. They had tried their best, but their best wasn’t good enough.

“We’re going to freeze your body, Gerald,” the doctor told him. “You will be placed in suspended animation. Hopefully, some day, medical science will have advanced far enough to be able to heal you. In the meantime, your body will be cryogenically frozen and kept in cold storage.”

When Gerald woke up and opened his eyes, he found himself lying on a bed in an unfamiliar room. There was a man standing over him. A tall man, dressed in a shimmering, multi-colored robe.

“Welcome to the future,” said the man.

Gerald coughed and cleared his throat. “Who are you?” he asked.

“I’m your descendant,” the man replied. “You’ve been asleep for a long time. You’re my ancestor. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“What’s your name?” asked Gerald.

The man smiled. “My name is Blargh,” he replied.

“Blargh?” Gerald repeated. “That’s a funny name.”

“Not really,” said Blargh. “Gerald is infinitely more amusing.”

“And what do you do for a living?” Gerald asked.

“Living?” Blargh looked confused. “I don’t understand the question… Oh you mean work… No, we don’t have that anymore. The robots do all the work now.”

“How convenient,” said Gerald. “What year is it?”

“30 ADL,” said Blargh.

“30 ADL?” Gerald spluttered. “What the hell does that mean?”

“30 years after the Dear leader came to power,” said Blargh.

“Who’s the Dear Leader?” asked Gerald.

“Oh, he’s our leader,” said Blargh proudly. “And he’s the greatest leader the world has ever known. He single-handedly united all of the countries on Earth. All hail the Dear Leader.”

“Where are we?” Gerald asked.

“We’re in a bunker, approximately one mile beneath the earth’s surface,” Blargh said. “Quite a change from your time, I imagine. It’s too hot for anyone to live above ground now.”

“Keeping me in cold storage all this time must have cost a fortune,” Gerald said. “Did my savings cover it?”

“I’m afraid not,” said Blargh. “Your savings ran out about 100 years ago. I had to pay all your debts when I had you revived.”

“Well, thank you,” said Gerald. “That was very kind of you.”

“Think nothing of it,” Blargh smiled. “It was my pleasure.”

Gerald tried to get up, but he was too dizzy and instead he slumped back down on the bed with a groan.

“You mustn’t move,” said Blargh. “You need to rest for the heart transplant.”

“Oh?” Gerald sighed. “Is there something wrong with my heart?”

“No,” Blargh replied. “There’s something wrong with mine.”