Does God Exist

Does God Exist? is a story written by a member of this website named Angel of Judgment, who says: “I have a personal story. If you post it, great and if not, that’s ok too. It is a long story and someone told me it was more disturbing than scary, but disturbing is good too right?”

When I was younger, I always believed in ghosts. During Summer vacation, my sisters and I would watch those television shows about ghosts and urban legends. We were always in the mood to get a little scare in us, just so we can get that slight feeling of dread. You see, I was the oldest of three and I was in fifth grade and I would always be in charge of taking care of my sisters when we got home from school, because my parents were at work, and when summer vacation came around, I was in charge of them all day long.

When I got into seventh grade, I began to tamper with sorcery of sorts, mainly self-induced spells dealing with power and strength and such. To my utter surprise, it worked. My influence on people began to increase significantly; I was shocked to say the least. Then I began to do body manipulation, and I was able to create auras around me that were demonic, and I knew it. I surrounded myself with the “spirit guide” that I allowed in my life. Eventually, I let it take over all my negative emotions and that is when things began to go slightly crazy (as if sorcery itself wasn’t crazy enough).

Anytime I got angry, saddened, or upset in any way, this spirit would take over and I would lash out in a wrath… people would be afraid to go near me. Eventually I learned how to curse people, and not by animal sacrifices, but by the sacrifice of my own blood. I would cut myself in order to make the spell work.

Now, these are all background details of the actual tormenting horror that would engulf my life. One day, while getting ready, I looked in the mirror and there was an older gentleman, dressed in a very nice suit; you know, one of those suits that they wore back in the 1920s. I always saw “ghosts” in my house growing up, so I wasn’t freaked out at first, but what terrified me about him was his eyes; they were red and filled with malice.
I remember he reached out his hand and began to walk toward me. I turned around and he was not there, but he was in the mirror still walking toward me. I ran out of the bathroom and told myself, “Maybe if I just stay out of the bathroom, I would never see him again”… boy was I ever wrong. I began to see him everywhere there was any form of reflection, glaring me, tormenting me.

My mom thought I was going crazy and told me that maybe I should go to church with her. I did go periodically, but why would I go to a place full of hypocrites? And if I was involved in sorcery, would I, too, not be a hypocrite? Yes, but I went anyway, playing the good church boy, going every Sunday and Wednesday right on time and playing the Christian card anytime somebody questioned me, but all the while, I was practicing sorcery.

I graduated High School, joined the navy and that is when all hell broke loose on my life. I deserted the church, dove head first into sorcery, completely embraced my “spirit guide” and I became a demon myself. My friends could attest to this, they saw the monstrosity I had become; not in the physical but in the spiritual, but it did manifest in anger and malice, hatred and wrath. The only love I knew was for my family and the closest friends I had and even they felt the full effect of my change.

While in the Navy, I continued to hide from reflections, for fear that, quite possibly, the demonic man I had seen was trying to drag me to hell. At that point, I did not care, I was able to call forth demons by my own will, to do my bidding and he was not going to stop me. I would have dreams of this man, getting hold of me and throwing me into the deepest pits of hell where he and a legion of other demons that would torment me. I would cry out “Jesus, please deliver me!” but it was to no avail. The demons would laugh and taunt me, saying that God no longer hears me and then I would wake up.

This torment began to be too much for me and I finally broke down and decided to talk to someone; that was a mistake. He reported me and I was sent to insane asylum. On the outside, I appeared fine to the doctors and psychiatrists, but on the inside, I was being tormented by this demonic presence that stalked me. After I was honorably discharged from the military, I returned home to my fiancée, but not long after she left me.
She was the only form of sanctuary I had left and when she deserted me, I became devoid of compassion. Anyone that was near me avoided me. I smoked, drank, went to parties, and was involved in lewd and promiscuous behaviors. I did not care where I was headed or where I would end up. All I cared about was me and my selfish wants. Anybody I did not like, I cursed and anyone I did like, I took advantage of. I lived a no compassion lifestyle.

I decided to go to school and get into the medical field, not because I cared about other people, but because doctors make good money. There, I met a girl who was a Christian. She always had a smile on her face, and was always talking to people about Jesus and God’s love. I knew the stories she made up and all those memories of my past life began to flood me again. When she finally talked to me, I responded cruelly to her and what not, but it didn’t seem to affect her. I was shocked! Nobody had ever reacted like that with me. I decided to befriend her.

One day, I met another girl who enjoyed doing the things I did and she even convinced me to put a curse on my ex-fiancée. She convinced me that she was a fallen angel and she was trying to get into heaven and that she needed to prepare for the coming war. I thought it was a tad strange, but not much since I considered myself a demon (somewhat humorous, I know, you can laugh, it’s ok). She convinced me that she was the love of my life and that everyone else should suffer.

I took her at her word and I was going to put a death curse on my ex. A spell that would require a suicide offering and I was willing. If I was to burn forever, then I would see her there in hell; the spell backfired and I blacked out. Waking up the next morning, sore and disoriented, I got myself together and went to school.

Sick and tired of my life, I contemplated my power, my control over the demonic… and then the church girl came to me and gave me an invite, I accepted and went to her church that Sunday. Everything in my spirit resisted what was being preached, everything I had ever embraced was warring against the sermon, it felt like he was talking to me. At the end, they gave an invitation to accept Jesus; I raised my hand out of respect, but I began to feel a slight bit of compassion return to me (it was strange, but comforting).

They invited me back and I agreed to return the following Sunday. After a week of debauchery I returned and I had the same feelings colliding inside of me. Then of my own free will, I allowed myself to listen and I had a revelation. All those years ago, when the man in the mirror was walking toward me with his arm stretched out toward me… he had me the entire time, he was inside me and when I saw him, it was a constant reminder that he was my tormentor. I willingly accepted Jesus Christ that day and all the evil, negative feelings I had inside, that had me in a mental slave box, I felt an instant cleansing; I wept at that altar as I felt myself being instantly changed and all the evil purged from me. I felt free.

That evening, after I went to sleep, I had the most disturbing dream. I awoke in a house of mirrors, the thing I feared the most. I could remember cowering in a corner at the thought that the man might return. I gathered my courage and decided explore the house. Feeling my way around the house of seemingly endless dimensions, I found windows and doors that led to nothingness, a black void. I was stuck in that forsaken house, alone, without any sign of hope.

Then I found another door that led to another room, but the door knob faded to nothing. I was in a room; I couldn’t tell if it was small or large, I just know that there was no way out now. Then in multiple dimensions, saw that demonic man again. His form was the same, but the malevolence was frightening. He began walking toward me, as he did all those years ago. I remember praying and asking God to help me and to get me out of that place and when I did, that man stopped walking. He now looked frightened.

All the mirrors faded except one and we were alone in a black voided room. I looked at him, feeling courage like never before. I remember I walked up to him, saying, “You have no control over me anymore.” And I hit the mirror, and I watched as it shattered into dust. Then I woke up, feeling a peace I had never felt before. It was freedom.

Now, is this story true? I could use the cliched “This is 100% true” but there will always be sceptics and scoffers, but they believe in “Bloody Mary”, why not this? I’ll leave that up to you to decide. I can say this however: every day, people expose themselves to witchcraft and sorcery, either willingly or unknowingly. You may deny it, but you may want to take a VERY good look at the things you’ve involved yourself with.

I will say that this is true, but this is something I lived with for years; in utter torment and constant fear. I thank God for his loving kindness, mercy, and patience. I thank Jesus for dying on the cross for me, despite knowing what I was. And I thank God for filling me with his Holy Spirit, to guide me through every little thing in my life. I was blind, but now I see; lost, but now I’m found. Thank you for taking the time to read and if you have anything you would like to talk to me about, let me know. (Gventura06@yahoo.com)