Funny Tales

Funny tales, scary stories and good jokes to tell.

Funny Tale – Who’s The Boss?

There was a young girl who went to summer camp. She was very unpopular with the other children because she was extremely bossy and selfish. After a few days, the other kids refused to speak to her and asked the counsellors to move her to another cabin. The counsellors put her in a cabin on her own. It was known as the haunted cabin.

On the first night she slept there, the girl took out a marker and wrote on the wall, “I’m the boss!” Then, she went to bed. In the middle of the night, she felt something crawling up her sheets. Soft hands wrapped around her neck and strangled her.

In the morning, the counsellors came in and found the girl lying dead in her bed. On the wall above her was the inscription, “No, I’m the boss!”

Funny Tale – The Cemetery Gates

It was midnight and a policeman was walking past a deserted, old cemetery. The cemetery gates were standing open and when he glanced inside, he thought he saw something moving in the darkness. Suddenly, he saw that it was something white and it was approaching fast. The policeman drew his gun and began shooting at it.

The next day, the policeman was found dead outside the old cemetery. His corpse was lying on the sidewalk. In one hand, he was clutching a gun and the other hand was clutching his chest. He had died of a heart attack. Next to him was an old newspaper with several bullet holes in it.

Funny Tale – The Taxi Driver

A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed and lost control of the cab. He nearly hit a bus, then drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a telephone pole.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the taxi driver said, “You scared the daylights out of me.”

The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a tap on the shoulder could frighten someone so much.”

“Well, today is my first day on the job,” said the taxi driver. “I used to drive a hearse.”

Funny Tale – The Hunter

Two hunters were out in the woods when, all of a sudden, one of them collapsed on the ground. He was lying perfectly still and didn’t seem to be breathing. His eyes were glazed over. The other hunter quickly grabbed his mobile phone and called emergency services.

When the operator answered, the man shouted, “My friend is dead! What should I do?”

The operator tried to calm the man down. In a soothing voice, she said, “Take it easy. I can help. First of all, let’s make sure he’s really dead.”

There was a long silence. Then, the operator heard the sound of a gunshot.

“OK,” said the hunter. “Now what?”

Funny Tale – Seven Seven Seven

One night, a woman was walking by the beach when she suddenly saw a man sitting close to the water.

He kept on saying “Seven! Seven! Seven!”

She approached him and asked, “Why do you keep on saying Seven?”

“If you really want to know, come closer” he replied.

The woman was curious, so she went closer to him. As soon as she was standing i front of him, the man stabbed her with a knife and threw her into the water. Then, he sat back down and said, “Eight! Eight! Eight!”

Funny Tale – The Dog and the Ball

A young man was bringing his new girlfriend out on a date. He was waiting in the living room of her high-rise apartment while she was getting dressed and putting on her makeup. He was bored and he decided to play with her frisky little dog. He picked up a ball and began throwing it for the dog to catch. He accidentally bounced it too hard and it flew out the sliding door and fell over the balcony. Without a thought, the dog followed the ball and fell over the balcony too.

When his girlfriend came out, the young man had no idea what to do or say. She didn’t seem to notice the dog’s absence. At dinner, the man said, “You know, your dog seemed a little depressed this evening…”

Funny Tale – The Black Puddle

One morning, a girl was walking her younger brother to school. On the way, they noticed a black puddle in the middle of the road. As they walked past, the young boy stepped in the puddle and fell straight through. His horrified sister tried to catch him, but she tripped and fell in too.

Later that day, the children’s parents got a phonecall from the school telling them that their kids were missing. The frantic parents went out and began to look for the children. They accidentally stepped into the black puddle and also disappeared. Some people who were driving by saw what had happened and phoned the police.

A few minutes later, two policemen arrived and began searching the area. When they noticed the black puddle, they approached it cautiously. Peeking over the edge, they saw that it was a deep and narrow hole. At the bottom of the hole, they saw a man sitting there. He was gnawing on human bones.

New Years Massacre

A terrible incident occurred in a small town in Russia on December 31st. A family was preparing for a New Year’s Eve party. The father was in the lounge ironing clothes and the mother was in the kitchen chopping sausages and cabbage. Their young son was running around the house with a pair of scissors and generally getting in everyone’s way.

Suddenly, the boy accidentally bumped into his mother and the scissors sliced into the back of her leg. The mother fell backwards and the knife slipped from her grasp. The small boy was right underneath her and the knife went straight through his chest and pierced his heart. He was killed instantly. The mother screamed in horror and the father came running into the room. When he saw the dead child lying on the kitchen floor, he flew into a fit of anger and struck the mother in the head with the iron. Realizing what he had done, he went outside and committed suicide, hanging himself from a tree.

When police discovered the horrible scene, they arrested the pair of scissors and it spent seven years in prison.

Funny Tale – Fear Of The Dead

One dark night, a young woman was walking home from work. Her path took her through the cemetery. As she approached the cemetery gates, she began to shake with fear. Suddenly, she saw a man walking along the road. The woman stopped him and asked him to escort her home. He agreed and as they passed through the cemetery, the woman clung to him and trembled.

“Why are you trembling?” asked the man.

“It is terrible,” replied the woman. “I am very afraid of the dead.”

The man was surprised and asked with a smile, “Why be afraid of us?”

Funny Tale – Slap Slap Slap

A woman was walking down the street at midnight, when she heard a slap, slap, slap sound behind her. She looked around but there was no one there.

She went on walking only to again hear the slap, slap, slap. Again, she looked around to find no one there. She was frightened and ran to the bus stop. The slap, slap, slap followed close on her heels.

As she sat on the bus, everything was silent. When she reached her stop and got off the bus, she heard the slap, slap, slap sound again. She looked around but, there was still no one there. The woman was now terribly frightened.

All the way home: slap, slap, slap. Up the stairs: slap, slap, slap.

As she stood at the door of her apartment, fumbling for her keys, she saw a man in a black cloak coming up the stairs.

The man looked at her strangely and said: “In my opinion, the heel came off your sandals.”

Funny Tale – The Poisoned Watermelon

There was a farmer who grew watermelons in his field. Unfortunately, his farm was close to a main road and he had constant problems with people stealing his watermelons during the night. He was determined to stop this and came up with a cunning idea.

In the middle of his watermelon patch, he placed a sign that read, “Warning! One of these watermelons has been injected with poison!”

The next day, the farmer came out to survey his field and was delighted to find that no watermelons had gone missing during the night. However, he noticed that at the bottom of his sign, someone had written, “Now there are two!”