Hash Slinging Slasher

The Hash Slinging Slasher was a funny scary story that was told in an episode of Spongebob Squarepants.

When you’re working the night shift at an all-night diner, be careful taking out the trash. When you go outside… out where the dumpster is… it’s kind of dark out there. You’re not afraid? Well I am. Especially after… Well, you know…

You don’t remember? It was all over the news. I probably shouldn’t tell you. It would ruin the night shift for you. You mean you’ve never heard the story of the “Hash-Slinging Slasher”?

The Slash-Bringing Hasher? The Sash-Ringing Flasher? The Trash-Singing Basher. The Mash-Flinging Dasher? The Flash-Stringing Gasher? The Crash-Dinging Masher?

The Hash-Slinging Slasher, yes. But most people just call him “The Ha-AAAAAAARGH!” because that’s all they have time to say before he gets them.

Years ago at this very diner, the Hash-Slinging Slasher used to be a fry cook – just like you – only clumsier. And then, one night, when he was cutting the patties… It happened. He cut off his own hand by mistake. He replaced his hand with a rusty spatula and then he got hit by a bus and at his funeral, they fired him.

So now, every Tuesday night, his ghost returns to the restaurant to wreak his horrible vengeance.

And tonight is Tuesday night! He’ll be coming.

There are three signs that signal the approach of the Hash-Slinging Slasher: First, the lights will flicker on and off. Next, the phone will ring and there will be nobody there. And finally, the Hash-Slinging Slasher arrives in the ghost of the bus that ran him over. Then he exits the bus and crosses the street without looking both ways because he’s already dead. Then he taps on the window with his grizzly spatula hand. He opens the door. He slowly approaches the counter…

And do you know what he does next?

You really want to know?

Are you sure you want to know?

He gets ya!