There are certain rules of survival in horror movies. The movie Scream had some rules, but they weren’t very useful. Our rules are much better and teach you exactly how to survive a horror movie.
1. Don’t walk around saying “Hello?” like the killer is going to reply “Yeah I’m in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?”
2. If someone says “Oh yeah, that’s the house where Old Man Jenkins was murdered” then it’s time to move house.
3. If your friend gets bitten by a zombie and says “Maybe I wont turn into one”, kill him. Better safe than sorry.
4. Upstairs? Bad idea. Outside? Don’t go there. Phone? Never works. Gun? Don’t drop it. Car? Won’t start. Neighbors? Never home. Police? Always die.
5. If something licks your hand in the darkness, it’s not your dog. Your dog is dead.
6. Stay away from places like Amityville, Haddonfield, Camp Crystal Lake, Elm Street and the entire state of Maine.
7. If you’re running around completely naked, you might as well just murder yourself.
8. If you are black, you will be the first to die. I don’t know why, but for some reason, in horror movies, black people always get killed first.
9. If you are annoying or a wise-ass, you will die before the black guy.
10. If you are a hot blond girl with big boobs, you will die before the annoying guy and the black guy.
11. If you open the door and there is a man standing there, holding an axe, he didn’t come to chop firewood.
12. Never go to the toilet alone. If needs be, poop your pants. It’s much safer.
13. If you see a clown, RUN. That clown isn’t hanging around to make you some balloon animals!
14. Leave slow or clumsy friends behind. Every man for himself. Somebody’s got to live to tell the story.
15. Don’t split up and look for clues. Everything you learned from Scooby-Doo is wrong.
16. You know that creepy clown statue upstairs that is freaking you out? Well it’s not a statue.
17. Never say “I’ll be right back” because you won’t be right back.
18. When you’re walking around a spooky old house, at least try turning the lights on!
19. If you’re running from the killer, you’re going to trip and fall down at least twice. More if you’re a girl.
20. If you trip and fall, don’t lay there with the “Ow it hurts” face. Get up and continue running!
21. If the killer is chasing you, you don’t have to run fast. Just faster than your friends.
22. No matter how fast you run, the killer will always be right behind or in front of you, despite the fact that he is shuffling along at a slower and more dramatic pace.
23. On a stormy night, you will find an open window that you were sure was locked. It didn’t magically unlock itself!
24. Whatever you do, remember that the killer will never forget what you did last Summer.
25. If you’re pointing a gun at the killer, don’t say “If you move I’ll shoot! I’m serious!” Just shoot him already!
26. Just lay down on the floor and pretend to be dead. Hey, it works for bears… doesn’t it?
27. Never back out of one room into another without looking. It’s always behind you.
28. If you see something moving, hit it with a baseball bat… even if it turns out to be your friend. Swing first, say sorry later.
29. Listen to the advice of all the people in the movie theater who are yelling at the screen!
30. Don’t trot round the house shouting, “Hey! is anybody there?” Of course there’s somebody there, dummy!
31. Never take a shower. Killers love showers. Anyway, sweaty people are slippery and harder to catch.
32. If you’re a girl, get a boyfriend. He’ll be horribly murdered in front of you, but at least you’ll live.
33. If you hear weird noises, don’t go to investigate. You’re not Dora the Explorer.
34. Stay out of the library. It’s one of the worst places to hide. Seriously, it’s like a labyrinth of getting murdered. Do you realize how easy it is for a killer to hide behind a bookcase?
35. If you’ve beaten the killer into a bloody pulp and you’re sure he must be dead, take the opportunity to dismember, burn, eat, blow up or otherwise destroy him.
36. If somebody claims that there’s nothing wrong, something is horribly, horribly wrong.
37. If you’re asked to babysit during a storm, on Halloween, on Friday the 13th or during a full moon, just say “Sorry, no can do”.
38. Don’t pick up hitchhikers and don’t hitchhike. If you do both, then the worst case scenario is: You could end up picking yourself up and murdering yourself.
39. If one of your friends is injured, leave them behind. Even if it’s just a skinned knee. That qualifies as an injury. Leave them.
40. If you friend gets shot, don’t, under any circumstances, do CPR. This will only make them die faster!
41. Always have your keys at the ready. You don’t want to be fumbling in your bag going “Oh where are they? I’m sure I have them here somewhere!” while the killer closes in.
42. Drips are never good. If you hear a dripping sound, it’s blood. Likewise, if you hear a clang, it’s a meat cleaver and if you hear a thunk, it’s a severed head.
43. If there is a scary legend, believe it. It’s real. It doesn’t matter of the legend says the killer has an onion for a head or a bear trap for a mouth. It’s real and he’s coming for you tonight.
44. If someone says “It’s just the wind, guys. Everything’s fine. Stop overreactingâ€, you should reply “Yeah well I hope I won’t overreact when you’re dead and stuffed beneath the floorboards”.
45. Avoid screaming, crying, whispering, panting, wheezing or breathing heavily when you’re trying to hide. Killers are not deaf.
46. Never bend down to spit out your toothpaste. When you come back up, there’ll be someone standing behind you in the mirror.
47. Don’t go to places with weird names like Terror Lake, Hell Hollow, Devil’s Den, Screamerville, Skull Valley, Dead Man’s Crossing, Spook Hill, Ghost Creek, Bloody Springs or Slaughter Beach.
48. Never go downstairs to check out a weird noise. Especially not in your underwear.
49. If your friends go to check out a strange noise and don’t return, don’t go looking for them. Just make new friends.
50. If your son starts telling you “I see dead people”, put him up for adoption!
51. If you’re babysitting a kid and they tell you they saw someone scary at the window, tell them to stand at the window and wave while you go hide.
52. If you’re running from zombies and your friend trips and falls, don’t worry. Leave them behind and say “I’ll see you again when you’re a zombie!”
53. DO NOT hide where you obviously could be SEEN… like BEHIND a LAMP! *idiot*
54. This is the 21st Century. You have a cell phone. Why does nobody in horror movies call 911?
55. If you’re black, stay away from white people. They’re too curious – always checking out noises and getting killed.
56. Have a fat friend. They will come in useful. If you run into the killer, you can use them as a human shield.
57. When you hear the music change to “ch, ch, ch, ch…ah, ah, ah, ah”, you’re as good as dead.
58. If you and your friends are running from the killer, trip up your friends. You can always make new friends, but there’s only one you.
59. If you are babysitting and the phone rings, don’t answer it. Just go home and leave the kids to fend for themselves.
60. Always check the back seat of the car. 9 out of 10 times, the killer will be crouched there going “Aw dude, you caught me!”
61. If you come to a deserted town, it’s probably been deserted for a good reason. Take the hint and stay away.
62. If you’re not sure who’s the killer and who’s an innocent person, shoot them all and let God sort them out.
63. If you see something mutating, don’t stand there with your “OMFG” face and wait for it to finish mutating. Kill it with fire and get the hell outta there.
64. I’m a leader not a follower… but if we’re going into a haunted house… you’re going first.
65. If some idiot in the group says “Let’s split up”, tell him “OK you go that way, the rest of us will go this way.”
66. Never under any circumstances run upstairs if you are being chased. Once you get upstairs, there’s nowhere left to go.
67. If you’re hiding from the killer, put your phone on silent.
68. Make sure the killer is dead. if the killer isn’t dead they will just keep coming back like team rocket.
69. OK under the bed is not a real hiding spot. What self-respecting killer WOULDN’T check under the bed?
70. If your BestFriendForever trips and falls and screams “Don’t leave me!”, change their friendship status to BestFriendForNever.
71. If you find your friend stabbed 78 times and lying in a pool of blood, dont go “OMG what happened?” You KNOW what happened.
72. When you find your friend stabbed 78 times dont comfort her. Run! She’s gonna die anyway. There’s still one person you can save… YOU!
73. The killer never dies the first time. Wait until he gets up, then kill him again.
74. When you’re driving at night and you hit someone, don’t stop to see if they’re OK.
75. Hide in the fridge. Killers don’t get hungry and stop for munchies during a murder spree.
76. Never look behind you while running away. When you look back, the killer will be standing in front of you.
77. Make sure your car has a full tank of gas and your cell phone is fully charged.
78. Whenever a puppet or doll turns to you and says “Let’s play”, it doesn’t REALLY want to play.
79. If you knock on the door of a creepy old house and it opens by itself, don’t go inside.
80. If objects in your house become possessed and start attacking you, don’t run into the kitchen. That’s where the knives are!
81. If you hear a little girl singing a nursery rhyme, say “Feet don’t fail me now!” and start running.
82. Don’t stop at a gas station and ask the creepy old man for directions. He’s not going to help you.
83. After you shoot the killer, don’t drop your gun.
84. If someone hands you a videotape and says “If you watch this you will die in 7 days”, don’t break out the popcorn.
85. If you see something weird, tell someone. Don’t just go “Oh, I must be imagining things.”
86. There is a killer in town and the police have asked us to give you the following safety tips: Stay in well-lit areas, do not travel alone and, whenever possible, always wipe front to back.
87. Never get into a car. It will either not start, break down, run out of gas or you will lose the keys. Either way, the killer will be hiding in the back seat.
88. If a policeman arrives, don’t get your hopes up. He will be killed just before he reaches you.
89. Find a good hiding place and STAY THERE. If the killer can’t see or hear you, WHY WOULD YOU MOVE?
90. If you are buying a house and the real estate agent is all like “well, yeah, full disclosure – there were some murders that happened here”, buy a different house.
91. If you hear something creepy in the distance, like a dog’s yelp cut off mid-bark, don’t investigate. The killer is there. Also your dog is dead.
92. Never attempt to pull off the killer’s mask. You won’t like what you see.
93. Never assume the killer is dead. Shoot him, stab him, chop off his arms, legs and head, then burn the pieces and put them out with holy water. If possible, rocket his charred remains into space. Even then, he probably won’t be dead.
94. If you have any history of mental illness, you will discover at the end of the movie that you were the killer all along.
95. If the walls of your house bleed, do not attempt an exorcism. Move very very far away. Because there’s blood on your walls. Blood! On your walls! YOUR WALLS ARE BLEEDING!
96. Never kiss your boyfriend or girlfriend. Smooching couples are a magnet for deranged serial killers.
97. Never yell things like “It’s over now” or “We made it”. That guarantees that it’s not over and you won’t make it.
98. If you spot a weird dude in your garden holding a chainsaw, he is not there to trim your hedges.
99. Don’t get drunk or do drugs. Escaping from a killer is much harder when you’re stumbling around and singing to yourself.
100. If you’re going on vacation, Google the name of the area. If the first five search results are news stories about Missing Persons, take a holiday somewhere else.
101. Don’t go outside just because you hear a noise. That’s like coming out and saying “Here I am! I’m ready to be murdered now!â€
102. Protect yourself. Find a weapon. Gun, knife, chainsaw = weapons. Umbrella, mop, lamp = not weapons.
103. Don’t drink alcohol or do drugs. Killers in horror movies have an extra-special hatred of drunk or stoned teenagers.
104. If your Dad goes insane and starts hacking down your bedroom door with an axe, don’t try to reason with him. Jump out the window.
105. Upstairs? Bad idea. Outside? Don’t go there. Phone? Never works. Gun? Don’t drop it. Car? Won’t start. Neighbors? Never home. Police? Always die.
106. If you hear a scary noise and find out that it’s just the cat, the next scary noise you hear won’t be just the cat.
107. If one of your arms or legs gets chopped off, don’t let it get you down. Later on, you may be able to replace it with a chainsaw or machine gun.
108. Don’t sacrifice yourself to save someone else. Usually the person you saved will die anyway.
109. If you see someone in a mask, don’t assume it’s just one of your friends playing a prank on you.
110. If your parents murdered a serial killer years ago, the killer will return to murder you. Strangely, he will leave your parents alone.
111. If your girlfriend is a hot cheerleader, dump her for the weird chick that nobody likes. Weird chicks never get killed, cheerleaders always die.
112. A good strategy is to say “No! Kill me instead!” That way, the killer will leave you alone and murder everbody else. Reverse psychology.
113. Don’t make friends with rednecks or hillbillies unless you want to be down on all fours, squealing like a pig.
114. Never make a plan, because your plan will take into account everything that could possibly happen, except for the one thing that actually happens.
115. If you throw away a doll and come home to find it waiting for you, immediately leave the country. There is no other way to get rid of it.
116. If the calls are coming from inside the house, get outside the house.
117. When you find a strange weapon, immediately grab it. Later on, this will be the only weapon capable of killing the monster.
118. If you are shooting at a monster with a big gun and it has no effect, don’t take out a smaller gun and start shooting.
119. If a girl with long black hair starts crawling out of your TV, hit the OFF button on the remote before she gets all the way out.
120. If you’re being chased by a killer and you meet one of your friends and they ask “what’s wrong?”, don’t stop to explain. Just shout “Cantstoptotalkkillerchasingmeseeyoulater” as you pass by.
121. If all else fails, make friends with the villain and help him kill everyone else. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.
And i made another story up when i was in bed last night xD It’ll be a little stupid but hope it doesnt matter lol xD
Here it goes and hope it’s okay anyway xD xD
Name: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!! xD
My boyfriend and i were having a big argument in the hallway. We were shouting and yelling at each other with the case of seeing him give a valentine chocolate to my biggest rival, Rebeca. I roared at him and he roared back at me, and we were nearly beaten up by each other. At last, I screamed my last words at the guy. “You are no longer my boyfriend!” Then i stomped away, crying and squeezing my girly fist which could never be able to land a hit on his face.
School ended late and it was beginning to get dark. I was still sobbing in tears so i decided to go head to the beach before i went home, just to calm down a bit. There was nobody there, and i was all alone until i saw a familiar guy sitting in the sand with his hands covering his face. I immediately recognized him, it was my former boyfriend who i broke up with just a few hours ago.
I couldnt control my fury. I bit my lip in anger and took a little stone from the sand and threw it at him as hard as i could. He didnt move an inch, so i took another stone and threw at him again. I kept on throwing stones and shells at him, each one bigger than the last, but he still didnt move. Feeling even more hatred for the ignorance, i took a heavy stone and threw it at him, and it landed harshly on the side of his head. I saw blood flowing down the side of his forehead and i ran away home, feeling terrible.
That night, i lay sleepless on my bed. I was feeling really guilty for what i had done at that time. I kept on mumbling to myself, “I hope he is okay. I hope that didnt hurt much.” But suddenly, i heard a voice from behind my bed. It was similar to the voice of my ex boyfriend. “That hurt…” the voice said. I suddenly sat up on my bed and looked behind me. There was the reflection of my ex bf in the mirror. My eyes nearly popped out. “L-Lyke?” I managed to stammer in horror. The blood still stayed flowing down his forehead. And I saw the horrible bruises made from the stones i threw at him that day, as he was shirtless.
“I am not your boyfriend, you fiend!” His eye color changed into a demonic red. I tried to scream, but my voice didn’t come out. Then in a blink of an eye, he was out of the mirror, and he was in a disgusting form at the time. The ‘thing’ kept coming towards me, who was frozen with fear. “You should not have thrown those stones at me, girly. For i am just an innocent ghost in your boyfriend’s appearance.” I felt a sudden ridiculous pain. Then it was a deadly silence.
When Lea’s parents got into her bedroom the next day, they saw the headless corpse of their daughter.
Well, that’s it.. my stupid story xD xD It’s like a comedy isnt it? LOL xD
Thanks Dead Girl. U probably the only one reading those stories xD. And please, call me Kish. Ok:
Part 2- The haunted nightmare
Mary flipped through the tv channels, bored out of her mind. It was a sunday, sundays were always boring to her. Suddenly she stopped on a news channel. The headlines caught her eyes- “Bloody Killer strikes again” it said. She listened to the newsreporter talking about a murder that took place in an isolated house not far from where Mary lived. “The teenage boy was home alone” said the reporter, “his parents found him in his room, which was full of blood. His head had split in two. And once again, there have been no traces of the killer, no clues, no footprints, nothing! 5 children have been murdered and all of them were alone at home. The FBI and CIA have started investigating these murders, as the local police lack the necessary resourses and equipment to continue the investigation of this unknown killer… One thing we do know though, is that the children here are no longer safe….”
Suddenly the tv flashed and went off. Startled, Mary checked the plugs. Everything was ok. What was going on? Suddenly, she heard a “bang” as a number of plates fell in the kitchen. She rushed to the kitchen and as got close, she smelt the terrible stench of a decomposing body. “A rat died again” she thought as she entered the kitchen. Everything was normal, no broken plates or pieces of glass. But the stench remained. Suddenly, she felt like throwing up and at the same time the room was spinning. She fell down and soon everything went dark…
“Do you believe i exist? Did you read my books? Have you seen my movies?”. Words kept echoing through Mary’s aching head. She seemed to be in a dark room and a man stood opposite her. Her vision was blurry and she couldn’t see in the dark room. She heard a chainsaw start. “You don’t believe yet” said the same eerie voice “but the moment you do, im comming to get you”
Mary woke up with a start. She was sweating and panting and her head ached. That was the wierdest dream ever, she thought. It was midnight now, she could have sworn it was sunday morning just a few minutes ago. She was in her room. She couldn’t remember how she got there. As she walked to the bathroom, she tripped over something. She switched on the light and bent down to pick it up. It was a book she did not recognise. One the cover it said, “Jason’s Diary”…
Thats part 2, not really exciting im afraid. But i will make part 3 better. Hope its not too long for u to read, Dead Girl, and any other person reading… If its too long tell me, i will shorten it up =)
I hope u like this story, im not much of an author myself… (these stories are meant to keep u entertained and me too xD They are in parts, hope u like it) Here goes:
Part 1- Death of the innocent…
It was a hot day. Jason closed his diary and let out a sigh. Ever since the incident, he was afraid. Every minute could be his last, they could kill him anytime now. The diary was his last memory of what happened, everything from monday last week. If they did get him, he hoped his parents would read this diary when they come from work and know the cause of his death. Suddenly, he heard it. The heavy breathing. The toxic scent of a decomposing body. The deadly sound of a chainsaw. Exactly like the first time. The door opened… “No!” shouted Jason, curling up by his bed. “Please, i just believe u exist, dont hurt me”. The last thing Jason remembered was the evil laugh and an eerie voice saying, “You shouldn’t have believed in me”. It lifted the chainsaw and threw it at Jason. It hit him square between the eyes. Infact, the chainsaw went right threw his head, sending galons of blood all over the room, then everything went black…
Again, yet again, another innocent soul fell victim to this…thing. But what was this thing? Why were innocent souls dying all over the world? Whats going on? The answers lay in Jason’s diary… Will anyone figure it out?
Stand by for part 2, part 1 was just an introduction to keep u in suspense. Did u like it? Should i make part 2? X3
Hmmm, still no stories, huh. I almost forgot this site just waiting for stories…
Here are some ways to enjoy this “waiting game”.
1-) Post your own stories here, im sure people would love to read them, and hey perharps u will give the site owner and idea or two, u never know if u dont try
2-) (this is what i do most of the time) Randomly google up scary stories, like typing “scary short stories” or “scary horror stories” etc, u will find some great stories and sites out there, but dont forget this site xD. <— thats what i do most of the time, some stories kept me awake, some stories had me laughing and some stories just made me feel like breaking my computer. A word of warning though, some of the searchs may bring up sites that were…unexpected, so becareful what u click on, xD. Dont say i didnt warn ya. On second thoughts, forget that part xD its up to u
3- Start random conversations in the comments perharps u will meet a person or two who are great to know.
Besides that, i dont know what else to do, but im not giving up on this site, MOST and i said MOST, and i will say it again for the benefit of some, MOST of the stories are unique and u wont find them on other sites…i think
Anyway, hope there will be a story soon…
All of the excitement in Scary For Kids is almost gone because its been ages since the last post… Soooo Boring!! :/ Wish sumone would tell me another scary website more interesting than thiss…. :/ :/
omg this is some good advise XD
I’d tell the killer he can have the guy who lives down the street. But if that doesn’t work, hmmm…I’m taking up track for sure XD
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!! those r soooooooo funny!!!!!!!!
i like the last rule
lol crap yo pants! XD
ah man im black but …. im super weird and crazy so ill be alright
Haha, epic. :3
I know what to do now if there’s a serial killer chasing my ass!!!!
great tips, also remember to never ever bring a knife to a gun fight. or a cat to a dog fight. fyi
hey that was kinda offensive when you say don’t be black i’m black/dark brown what r u a racist?
@depressed ghost thanks got it from a book lol this also works when evil sivlings tring to get u and u and ur friend
@ lexalina101
Ofcourse! There’s this stupid pixie statue of dad’s in my basement! -.- I hate it, cuz it makes me feel like never taking a step in there….
Best tip ever.
“if the killer falls over because he’s wearing a ridicuilously large mask, don’t keep running, kick him, stomp on his throat, do you want to die!?”
Cool tips, by the way. I love it. :D
I can run fast, YAY!
when in groups, always pick the ones that are slower, fatter, and dumber than you are.
When you survive the first movie and sign up to do the sequel, forget the killer is just gonna get your ### anyway:)
if the killer has a chainsaw, and you just so happen to have a sharp object, dont stab his arm or cut it off then run off screaming and leave him with a good arm AND the chainsaw, stab him in the neck THEN get the chainsaw and cut him UP. burn him, pour holy water on the ashes and burn again. THEN you can run screaming.
A tip u don’t need to run faster than killer etc. Just ur friend
i have a tip! DON’T GO IN THE FREAKIN’ BASEMENT YOU DUMBA## THERE’S ALWAYS SOMETHING/SOMEONE DOWN THERE!!!!
This is awesome ^_^ I will so use this! :):):):):):)::)
Sincerely,
The average demented kid on the block